Saturday, July 24, 2010
Sneak Peek: Reasons to date someone in PIDSSA
A sneak peek on what to expect from my hand book. The tough part about this is that there are numerous 'reasons to date (blank)' online -- none which are politically whore-riented. Now I can politically whore myself out to the greater part of my student body.
1. We love our caucus
2. We learn about Dick and Bush foreign policy
3. We give new meaning to social ‘movements’
4. We are good with our invisible hands
5. We can get fiscal
6. We are experts at lying…down
7. Party whip. Enough said.
8. We are known for our riding
9. We know how to stimulus any package
10. It doesn’t matter where you fall on the spectrum -- we always divide and conquer.
11. We understand cleavages in all regions.
... I didn't say it would be good cleavages. Looks like this motorboat has capsized.
1. We love our caucus
2. We learn about Dick and Bush foreign policy
3. We give new meaning to social ‘movements’
4. We are good with our invisible hands
5. We can get fiscal
6. We are experts at lying…down
7. Party whip. Enough said.
8. We are known for our riding
9. We know how to stimulus any package
10. It doesn’t matter where you fall on the spectrum -- we always divide and conquer.
11. We understand cleavages in all regions.
... I didn't say it would be good cleavages. Looks like this motorboat has capsized.
Back in Business
Oh herro everyone,
As many of you may know, my favourite person in the world, Greg Buck Smith has officially graduated the University of Ottawa in Political Science with a minor in Criminology and sassiness.
Therefore, I've had nothing to write about.
As many of you may know, my favourite person in the world, Greg Buck Smith has officially graduated the University of Ottawa in Political Science with a minor in Criminology and sassiness.
Therefore, I've had nothing to write about.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Support My Conquests
I invite you all to support my conquest to become...
PIDSSA's Director of Activism!!!!!!
Describe any unique abilities you bring to this position?
I can go without bathing (essential for this position), I love Che Guevara and Rage against the Machine. I know how to cook vegan meals as well as cook using my anarchist cookbook. My hands are generally in fist format and I like breaking shit -- especially the system. I believe in rights; human rights, animal rights, vegetable rights. But definitely not THE right. I bleed hummus and use pita as my band-aids.
Fact: Iarusso has just applied against me.
Her experience:
I work for a Conservative Party of Canada MP. I know how to get things done. Solving Canada's unemployment "crisis" is not an issue.
Settling myths about global warming, women's rights issues, and ensuring freedom of speech (ie. letting Ann Coulter speak) remain priorities.
Universities are liberal institutions, and must remain that way.
As Greg Smith would say: Fur Real?
I guess there's only one way to settle this debacle.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Just a thought for all of those delusional candidates running in the upcoming elections
mmmmkay Mother Theresas of PIDSSA - we will not solve the world hunger crisis within our mandate and the 75 cents we get per POL student (not even DVM) barely covers the cost of pens for Model Parliament. People get discouraged, stop showing up to meetings -- stop showing up to anything -- and then talks of impeachment run rampant.
Looks like he got ahold of our bank account balance.
Looks like he got ahold of our bank account balance.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Things Kyle Likes
Welcome to Things Kyle Likes. Not to be confused with Things Kyle Lies, which I believe could become the next Oxford Encyclopedia.
Kyle is a dear friend of mine. He's been active in student politics, we all know him, we all love him.
Kyle is one of those figures that define a century; much like Michael Jackson, he engages people with his rhetoric and even though he gets older, they stay the same age.
Time to throw caution to the wind, just like that time you threw an ice block at my face. Oh wait, that was Friday. Nevertheless, let us roast him like a marshmallow over a designer fireplace.
Playing Hookey
Kyle has been in approximately four of my classes since the beginning of University. However, it's safe to say that the amount of times I've seen him in class is equivalent to the amount of times I've seen him give money to homeless people. Greg has noted that he has seen Kyle throw out money, so the proof is in the extra-smooth, vanilla bean, with whipped cream-sprinkle pudding. He has somehow coasted through every course without going to class; and for this I commend you, Kyle, for keeping it classy. Three snaps for you.
Giggling
It is scientifically proven that the bigger you are, the more likely you are to giggle like a school girl because of the lack of oxygen that gets to your brain. And, let me tell you ladies, he's big where it counts....his heart. He mainly giggles when watching his favourite television shows and movies; most notably Desperate Housewives and the Bachelor, and Maid of Honour and The House Bunny.
The Kitchen.
It is safe to assume that Kyle only does one thing in the kitchen. Clean the stove. On a weekly basis, you can hear an echoe in Desmarais. Usually, that echoe is him complaining about how dirty his kitchen is, and how he needs to clean his stove. Which is a strange phenomenon, considering he never cooks. However, he has made me baked goods on two occasions. May it be noted that we were promised nine dozen cookies, and were brought one dozen baked cookies and five boxes of dad's 'oatmeal' and oreos. You can bet your bottom dollar that this man appreciates his cream filling. They can even be stacked in cylindrical formats for hours of fun.
Shout-outs to Paul Webber, Kyle's Lawyer, who will be taking care of me upon him reading this.
If you do not hear from me, I have been shanked and all of my personal possessions, including this blog, shall be inherited by Ethan Plato.
Kyle is a dear friend of mine. He's been active in student politics, we all know him, we all love him.
Kyle is one of those figures that define a century; much like Michael Jackson, he engages people with his rhetoric and even though he gets older, they stay the same age.
Time to throw caution to the wind, just like that time you threw an ice block at my face. Oh wait, that was Friday. Nevertheless, let us roast him like a marshmallow over a designer fireplace.
Playing Hookey
Kyle has been in approximately four of my classes since the beginning of University. However, it's safe to say that the amount of times I've seen him in class is equivalent to the amount of times I've seen him give money to homeless people. Greg has noted that he has seen Kyle throw out money, so the proof is in the extra-smooth, vanilla bean, with whipped cream-sprinkle pudding. He has somehow coasted through every course without going to class; and for this I commend you, Kyle, for keeping it classy. Three snaps for you.
Giggling
It is scientifically proven that the bigger you are, the more likely you are to giggle like a school girl because of the lack of oxygen that gets to your brain. And, let me tell you ladies, he's big where it counts....his heart. He mainly giggles when watching his favourite television shows and movies; most notably Desperate Housewives and the Bachelor, and Maid of Honour and The House Bunny.
The Kitchen.
It is safe to assume that Kyle only does one thing in the kitchen. Clean the stove. On a weekly basis, you can hear an echoe in Desmarais. Usually, that echoe is him complaining about how dirty his kitchen is, and how he needs to clean his stove. Which is a strange phenomenon, considering he never cooks. However, he has made me baked goods on two occasions. May it be noted that we were promised nine dozen cookies, and were brought one dozen baked cookies and five boxes of dad's 'oatmeal' and oreos. You can bet your bottom dollar that this man appreciates his cream filling. They can even be stacked in cylindrical formats for hours of fun.
Shout-outs to Paul Webber, Kyle's Lawyer, who will be taking care of me upon him reading this.
If you do not hear from me, I have been shanked and all of my personal possessions, including this blog, shall be inherited by Ethan Plato.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Free Shots
Last Caturday, during our staple event of the year (Model Parliament) some of the members of the Ultra-Nationalist Party decided to make a pact. A pact that would forever shape our friendships and lives until the day we die.
Get Greg wasted.
Jack Daniels made a brief appearance at the Chateau Laurier, and Greg greeted him with open arms, exclaiming "no, no, no, no, NO, NO NOOOO, Oh dear. Fine"
Later on in the evening, he was spotted doing mating calls to the local alley cats somewhere on Blackburn Ave. True story.
I wanna make love right meow, meow, meow
Get Greg wasted.
Jack Daniels made a brief appearance at the Chateau Laurier, and Greg greeted him with open arms, exclaiming "no, no, no, no, NO, NO NOOOO, Oh dear. Fine"
Later on in the evening, he was spotted doing mating calls to the local alley cats somewhere on Blackburn Ave. True story.
I wanna make love right meow, meow, meow
Friday, December 11, 2009
Fickle Fridays!
Friday posts will be entitled "Fickle Fridays" meaning things greg dislikes.
Greg hates when you put the tard in tardiness. Just today, this was exemplified whilst waiting for KS to pick us up.
Here is a picture to prove Greg's dissatisfaction.
"Oh dear."
Greg hates when you put the tard in tardiness. Just today, this was exemplified whilst waiting for KS to pick us up.
Here is a picture to prove Greg's dissatisfaction.
"Oh dear."
Leaving his facebook on.
Greg has been in approximately four facebook marriages over the last three months.
He also became a fan of menstrual cycles.
And he even changed his haircut to 'balding obese man' re:below
all because he leaves his facebook on in the office.
He also became a fan of menstrual cycles.
And he even changed his haircut to 'balding obese man' re:below
all because he leaves his facebook on in the office.
Wal-Mart.
I am uncertain if I know of anything specifically Greg Smith has bought at Wal-Mart.
Rest assured, I can promise you he has a new found love for the people who shop there.
Besides bejeweled, I will argue that he wastes his majority of time online at this site.
www.peopleofwalmart.com
and see, I've managed to combine one of his other faves in this photograph from the site itself.
Rest assured, I can promise you he has a new found love for the people who shop there.
Besides bejeweled, I will argue that he wastes his majority of time online at this site.
www.peopleofwalmart.com
and see, I've managed to combine one of his other faves in this photograph from the site itself.
Bureaucracy... etc.
He knows the rules. He knows them well.
Greg is a master debater. He can argue his way out of a pancake.
It is here that we salute you, for the fountain of knowledge you have become.
He has lived through five versions of our constitutions, an abundance of general assemblies, and many-a-model parliament. The knows a thing or two about how shit gets done, and how to getith us there.
Greg is a master debater. He can argue his way out of a pancake.
It is here that we salute you, for the fountain of knowledge you have become.
He has lived through five versions of our constitutions, an abundance of general assemblies, and many-a-model parliament. The knows a thing or two about how shit gets done, and how to getith us there.
Eggnog
Greg is festivus for the rest of us.
He enjoys most things that are XXX-mas rated.
Holiday Sweater? Check. Argyle Socks? You bet. Christmas tune-age? Definitely.
Eggnog? The fact that it's a creamy, thick and white liquid does not deter this man.
However, may it be noted that he remains jolly all year round.
He enjoys most things that are XXX-mas rated.
Holiday Sweater? Check. Argyle Socks? You bet. Christmas tune-age? Definitely.
Eggnog? The fact that it's a creamy, thick and white liquid does not deter this man.
However, may it be noted that he remains jolly all year round.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Charts and Graphs.
No one does graphing like Gregory Smith does.
He is 'well-equipped' for any challenge. This includes, but is not limited to:
Budgets,
Progress reports,
Program Reviews,
Online excel sheets,
Pie Charts.
He is 'well-equipped' for any challenge. This includes, but is not limited to:
Budgets,
Progress reports,
Program Reviews,
Online excel sheets,
Pie Charts.
Heavy-Duty Coffee Makers
Coffee makers are essential to Greg's well-being.
But only if they can make 20 cups at a time.
And only if they are combined with coffee-mate.
you can be my coffee-mate any time, Greg.
But only if they can make 20 cups at a time.
And only if they are combined with coffee-mate.
you can be my coffee-mate any time, Greg.
Age-appropriate sexual encounters
Greg is old.
So Ethan bought him a book entitled "Sex for Seniors" for christmas.
Although most of the positions included canes and walkers, that's only half the fun! It can also be challenging to find specific womanly parts because of all the excess skin; but you can always make a game of it with added incentives.
A website encourages extra lubricant for dryness and viagra for erectile dysfunction.
****note***** sex with seniors should not occur past 6 pm as most of them are asleep by that hour.
So Ethan bought him a book entitled "Sex for Seniors" for christmas.
Although most of the positions included canes and walkers, that's only half the fun! It can also be challenging to find specific womanly parts because of all the excess skin; but you can always make a game of it with added incentives.
A website encourages extra lubricant for dryness and viagra for erectile dysfunction.
****note***** sex with seniors should not occur past 6 pm as most of them are asleep by that hour.
Bejeweled?
Someone has a secret talent.
Bejeweled all-star much?
Don't ever challenge Greg to a match unless you're prepared to lose. He is often training in PIDSSA meetings and office hours. If you stop by at the right time, maybe he'll give you one-on-one coaching ;)
sexcellent.
Bejeweled all-star much?
Don't ever challenge Greg to a match unless you're prepared to lose. He is often training in PIDSSA meetings and office hours. If you stop by at the right time, maybe he'll give you one-on-one coaching ;)
sexcellent.
Androdynous M words.
Murses.
Definition - a man purse. Greg is often seen with his black murse in the office and in between classes.
"I do NOT have a murse. It is called a messenger bag. However, a murse doesn't seem like a bad idea. Afterall, they're for the man on the go" - Greg Smith
Moobs
definition - male breasts. Greg does not have moobs, but it is still debatable whether or not he secretly fantasizes about them.
Manginas
definition - self explanatory.
Ever since that night at Royal Oak, there was not a week which passed that manginas were not a topic of discussions. Not to assume that Greg HAS a mangina, but he does do a mean mangina waddle.
Trains
Greg is all class, all ass. How do you think he picks up cougars?
Two words my friends: Via One.
It is here Greg gets his choice of dinner; a nice, relaxing ride home; and lots of wine.
Lots of wine = lots of cougars.
Did I mention that Greg also likes Barbra Striesand?
Two words my friends: Via One.
It is here Greg gets his choice of dinner; a nice, relaxing ride home; and lots of wine.
Lots of wine = lots of cougars.
Did I mention that Greg also likes Barbra Striesand?
Cats
although Greg has never had a cat; he likes cats.
"I like cats because they're so dynamic" - Greg Smith.
We're going to be friends fuuuuurrrever.
"I like cats because they're so dynamic" - Greg Smith.
We're going to be friends fuuuuurrrever.
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